I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
