Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
