Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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