windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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