I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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