so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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