So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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