And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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