May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
