You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
