Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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