He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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