Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
