i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
