another moral hangover. fuck.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
