Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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