So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want a musical about memes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
