I'm jealous of your bromance
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
