i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
