I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
