I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
