I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
