Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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