That's intense
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
