Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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