so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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