I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
