Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.

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(516): View more from New York

and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

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(314): View more from Missouri

I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.

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(509): View more from Washington

Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...

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(765): View more from Indiana

Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.

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(727): View more from Florida

So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.

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