If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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