I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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