At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
