party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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