Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
