if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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