do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We are two peas in an std pod
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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