On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a blender
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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