Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
