how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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