he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
