my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
What a dumb baby whore.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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