Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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