Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So here I am, sexting at work.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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