He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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