I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
