It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
