Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
