I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
