Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Drake has all the answers
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
