Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
