Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
