I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
