i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
