Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
