it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
