he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
