Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
