So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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