i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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