i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
