Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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