He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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