I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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