there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
