Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize